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Writer's pictureLiza Nemchenko

One thing I regret not doing while being pregnant.

Updated: Jun 27

The moment when he has arrived into this world, was so precious and oh goodness, the feeling when he started crying by taking a first ever breath will always stay in my memory. Very happy memory of holding my newborn son, who is all so tiny and precious. But the next thing that happens, is you get snapped back into reality and you lie in the hospital bed next to a clear plastic bassinet next to a somewhat tiny little beeing that's making some Babyraptor sounds and you just buzzing at the fact that there is a baby, your baby, a stranger...

At the back of my mind I always knew that I loved him, since he was my son and my blood, but still the fact that I was really weirded out by the fact that there was a "stranger " in my room.


Looking back at the thoughts and feelings I have experienced, I had a lot of catching up to do on bonding with my baby.


One thing I regret not doing while being pregnant.

Bonding with my Bump.


Even thought I have caught up with the bonding experience during the postpartum period, mind you the bonding is an ongoing experience that will happen through years and stages of your babies development as much as yours, you grow with them, experience with them go through a massive learning curve along with them.


Things I did to Bond with my Baby.


Bonding with baby through touch.


When your newborn arrives, physical contact becomes an important way to show affection and cement your bond. Holding your infant close to your skin promotes emotions of security and good development. Skin-to-skin contact helps breastfeeding women produce more milk. Furthermore, activities such as newborn massage, bath time, and gentle touches such as kneading their back or stroking their cheek are effective methods to bond.

Think of things that you enjoy doing yourself. My personal favorite was having a bath with my newborn. As I always loved relaxing in the bath, this was one of my favourite activities to do with my newborn.


Wrapping up to bond with your baby.


After spending nine months cozy in the womb, babies frequently find comfort in being closely swaddled. This provides two bonding chances for parents. Swaddling promotes calm by allowing for minutes of rocking, feeding, singing, or conversing while the infant is content. Even while the infant is asleep, snuggling and holding it promotes connection. Another bonding technique is to wear the baby in a wrap-style carrier, which provides intimacy and comfort. Babies appreciate being near to their parents' chests, and wearing them allows them to bond while keeping their hands free for other duties.


Reading to your baby.

Reading is a wonderful bonding activity for both parents and their infant, even at the newborn stage. The soothing sound of a parent's voice and the rhythmic tones of baby books can stimulate the baby's developing brain, expose them to language, and give them an early scholastic advantage. By including reading into your nightly sleep routine, you establish a recurring bonding practice. This focused one-on-one time allows your child to relax and associate reading with sleep, making it a valued part of their day.


I loved reading some old time fairy tales from my childhood to my son. It was such a joyful time remembering how my mum used to read them to me and feeling that warmth deep inside. Babies feel the emotions that you experience and pick up the vibes.


Singing to you baby.


Aside from reading, singing to your infant is another effective approach to strengthen your bond and promote cognitive development. According to recent research, singing has the same cognitive stimulating benefits as early reading. Don't worry about your singing voice; your kid will adore it regardless. Feel free to sing anything comes to mind—children's songs, classic lullabies, or personal favorites—they all provide the same bonding experience.


In my case, I was turning on my favourite songs on You Tube, singing along to them while my son was sitting in his bouncer. Honestly, it was lifting my mood up my son was ending up in my hands dancing away to the jams. I know screen time is not recommended for young babies, kids, children etc. But hey if that's what you enjoy and it makes you happy why not?


Talking to your baby.


Engaging in conversation with your infant, especially while maintaining eye contact, is an effective bonding technique. Babies begin memorizing faces and attempting to reproduce facial expressions and tones from an early age. Aside from speaking directly to your infant while gazing at them, narrating your actions, surroundings, and daily activities is a wonderful approach to promote language development and expose your child to a wide variety of vocabulary.


If you not much of a talker, or can't come up of what you can talk about, just talk to your baby what you are doing or planning to do. Like I am going to cook a meatball soup today, the ingredients that I will need to the soup are carrots, potatoes, onions, beef mince etc. Just simple things like that.


Responding to their Cries.


Establishing a solid attachment with your infant is critical for developing trust between you and your child. This link serves as the foundation for their self-esteem, academic success, overall satisfaction, and future prospects. The most efficient strategy to create this attachment is to respond to your baby's crying as soon as it occurs. Whether they are hungry, need a diaper change, or simply want to be comforted, taking them up and consoling them is essential. It is critical to understand that meeting your newborn's demands swiftly does not spoil them - rather, it builds your bond with them.


Now that I have listed all the things that helped me bond with my son, in my postpartum stage and further along, here's the list of things I have gathered to help you bond with your bump and avoid the regrets that I have been experiencing.


Talk and Sing to your bump.


Babie's hearing develops quickly, and they become accustomed to their parent's voices even before birth. Conversations with your baby while pregnant, such as discussing your day or responding to their motions, can help expectant moms bond with their unborn child. Singing lullabies during peaceful times or when the baby is active in the womb might also help. Husbands can also help in bonding by talking and singing to the baby bulge, ensuring they feel attached even before birth.


Reading to your baby.


Reading stories to your baby in the womb is an excellent bonding exercise. Babies appreciate hearing their mother's voice, even before birth, so sharing a book fosters a special bond. Furthermore, reading to your other children during pregnancy allows you to spend quality time with all of them at the same time, strengthening family relationships even before the new baby arrives.


Give your baby a name.


Once you give your baby a name, they become like a tiny person to you. It makes it easier to communicate with them instead of just calling them "the baby.


Massage your belly.


When you're expecting, a soothing massage can be beneficial for both you and your baby. So, feel free to gently massage your belly. As you progress in your pregnancy and feel your baby's movements, responding with gentle rubs may even prompt your baby to react by moving closer and kicking back.


Dance with your bump.


As your pregnancy advances and your belly expands, it's normal to feel down when mobility becomes difficult. However, pregnant women can still be active. Put on some music and move with your bump! Your infant may even appreciate the rhythmic movements enough to dance alongside you.


Write letters to your baby.


Pregnancy fills your mind with countless thoughts and queries, such as your baby's hair color or expected weight. These are memories worth keeping for the future. Reflecting on these thoughts after meeting your newborn can be a fun way to compare your previous expectations to reality. You could also consider writing letters to your baby about your pregnancy experiences and emotions for them to remember later.


Grab this Free Pregnancy Journal, where you can write letters to your baby, share your pregnancy journey and prepare for baby's arrival.


Nest and get prepared.


Nesting is common, especially in the late stages of pregnancy. It's also a good time to get comfortable with the thought of having a new baby and using the goods you've prepared for them. Visualizing your unborn kid in those little garments and cuddled in those blankets might help make the imminent arrival feel more real. Accept this phase as an opportunity to bond with your baby before they are born.


Record your Ultrasound.


Seeing your baby grow inside you is a truly fantastic experience. Seeing their small face, fingers, and toes during ultrasounds truly brings you to reality. It's critical to capture these special moments so you can share them with your baby later.


So here's the list of things you can start practicing in case you just found out that you pregnant, even thought the list is very similar to what I did post partum and ther'splenty of time to bond with your baby, as you do bond with them by taking care of them while feeding, bathing and even changing a nappy (without realizing). Oh love you feel for them is like an instinct, it's so primal. Anyways I still wish I practiced more bonding with my Bump.


Let me know in the comments below what strategies you applied to bond with your bump what was your go to?





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